I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
