I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
