I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
