He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
