and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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