would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He passed out mid-signature
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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