FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
