Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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