In the future we'll all be gay
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
