She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
