he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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