She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
