Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
