He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
