omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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