Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
