i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
