well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your penis caused this!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
