Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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