honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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