i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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