I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
