i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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