I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
