Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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