Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
