New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
