Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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