Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When did angry sex become our thing?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
