I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
