The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
