He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
