Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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