you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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