That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
