yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
worst night to have a conscience
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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