Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
