The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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