I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize