I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
