I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
