I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
