i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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