let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize