This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
