he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
