Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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