im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
