if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
