Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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